2020-10-27

cyrano: (My Last Spoon)
2020-10-27 08:06 pm

(no subject)

I feel guilty.
I live in privilege.
I should be out there, on the streets.
Fighting against racism, for equality.
Fighting against nepotism and corruption and capitalist cruelty.
Fighting against people who it seems insist on infecting as many innocent people as possible.
But I'm too afraid.
Afraid of dying because of those careless, thoughtless people who carry the plague around with them, gifting it to anybody they meet.
Afraid of the crippling long term side effects that can come from surviving it.
I spend money on people I hope can help.
I write and email and call people who may want to help but in the end I'm resigned to seeing them choose self-interest when they've been put in a position where the welfare of the nation should be their first consideration.

I thought about turning off comments. I know it's irrational. And if I live long enough to have grandniblets or whatever the proper term is, I can tell them I did the best I could. And maybe that would be enough.