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You're a strange boy Johnny. But I like you.
1. I get unreasonably upset (unreasonably to others) when moron drivers don't use their signals when turning or changing lanes and thus try to kill me. I don't like being killed, but others seem more accepting of this idea and do not throw rocks at the stupid moron drivers.
2. I talk to the other drivers while in my car. I say thank you when they get out from behind me and stop blinding me with their headlamps. I tell them to say 'hi' for me when they're busy talking on the phone. I speak in a soothing condescending voice, I shout, I snarl, I generally vent to release the anger and fear that driving generates. I am well aware that they can't hear me--this is not for them.
3. I used to drive rather too fast--about eighty miles an hour on the freeway--not because I was in a hurry to get where I was going but because I wanted to be done with driving. The theory was that the less time I spent on the road the less chance some idiot would get me killed. (I have recently discovered, however, that going slower is increasing my mileage and that may be a payoff for the increased chance of dying.)
4. I am not a good driver. I am a safe driver, but not a talented one. Four years after getting my license, I still can't parallel park.
5. I have renamed my IM 'Friends' and 'Family' to 'Kith' and 'Kin'.
6. I miss the times when men had actual interesting choices in clothing, instead of 'you can wear wear trousers or you can wear shorts, and a t-shirt or a button-down. If you get crazy, you can wear a *hat*!'
7. I grew up reading a lot of books from England or Canada, and watching a lot of television from CBC and BBC. I picked up a lot of language variations, and sometimes I even use them correctly. Initially, I favoured their use because it made me less like the people who surrounded me. At this point, I often can't tell which usage is 'correct'. But I'm getting better. More Z's pleaze!
8. It didn't help that, in college, I spent a lot of time with International Dorm kids who taught me How Not To Be Recognized As An American Whilst Travelling Abroad. I fall into an indeterminate polyglot accent at times when stressed or tired.
9. I hang onto strange, useless objects because I am convinced that as soon as I toss them out I will find the perfect use for them. I have ten single-serving glass jars that used to hold Schwartzkirsche jam all scrubbed and cleaned in case I need them for a prop for a LARP or something. This phenomenon also means I have large collections of books, CDs, DVDs, on the theory that someday I may want to read/listen to/watch them again and if I've given them away then where would I be? I am also vaguely convinced that if I throw something out I will be hurting its feelings. Which is probably even weirder.
10. I have always been big and a little ungainly. I have also always wanted to be small, slim and lithe. I do not believe it is physically possible for me to be any of those things, given the way my body is built, but I am not dissuaded.
EDIT
Added 11. Apparently when it comes time to play superhero dress up, I don't want to be the Bat Man. I want to be Alfred.
EDIT AGAIN
Also 12. I have an unholy fascination with covers--songs originally performed by one artist and then performed by another. Especially if they're dramatically different. I actually *bought* and album called 'Covered in Goth' in order to hear crappy goth bands perform songs I was familiar with.
12 1/2. I am never done with anything--there are always new edits that could be performed, improvements to be made, etc, until I forcibly put the item I am crafting out of my reach.
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Necessity is the mother of invention. When you absolutely, positively need to learn to parallel park, you will. For me this was 11 p.m. on a Tuesday night. I learned rather quickly.
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