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I want a doctor to take your picture
So I decided last night, when we went to Kingswood for Teppan, that I want to grow up and be an extra in a John Woo film. But only one of his older films that are actually good. Surrounded by cute east asian teens/young adults in trendy clothes laughing and talking excitedly in a language that sounds like an odd form of music.
Then we were seated and I changed my mind. I wanted to be a c.e.a.t./y.a. lesbian, the phenotype that looks cute in a wife beater, kind of like a japanese gina gershon, whose girlfriend looks hot in a black duster and takes her to teppan and buys her lobster and steak.
This morning I've changed my mind again. I just want to grow up and be somebody who doesn't have to go to work and sleeps in.
Then we were seated and I changed my mind. I wanted to be a c.e.a.t./y.a. lesbian, the phenotype that looks cute in a wife beater, kind of like a japanese gina gershon, whose girlfriend looks hot in a black duster and takes her to teppan and buys her lobster and steak.
This morning I've changed my mind again. I just want to grow up and be somebody who doesn't have to go to work and sleeps in.
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That is the immediate attraction, according to yesterday's plan.
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Why do you want to grow up at all?
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Which can probably be patched by simply being something, but it's a harder path.
Most of the time I don't want to grow up at all and have fought it kicking and screaming. But I think I'm fucked because I'm pretty sure I was a Grup by the time I was eight. Responsibility, duty, all that good crap.
So, there's this constant battle between the innate nature of stolid sober-as-a-judge working for the common good adult and the frolicking in a meadow eating junk food making fart jokes ADD child. I blame the fact that I'm a Cancer. Damn the Moon!
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oh... and its not the cancer, sorry, Cause I'm an Aquarius and Guavas is a Libra... perhaps it has something to do with our Chinese horoscopes? ;)
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It was always comforting to assume that the wealth of inner contradictions (I love people and human company, but I hate people and want to be left the hell alone) could be blamed on the influence of Diana and all that waxing and waning.
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Is it not more comforting to know that you are not alone in your contradictions?
I have noticed that the more intelligent a person is the more contrary their thoughts and feelings are. The thing that breeds this intelligence in people is one and the same with what makes them less likely to follow the path already paved.
In that sense, ignorance truly is bliss. Oh to be blissfully unaware of the pains of the world around us, to be joyfully ignorant of those things that make us cynical and jaded...
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And it definitely makes me feel less of a freak to share my contrary nature with others. It was very comforting last month to hear Ellie assure me she has similar problems.
And yes, I sometimes wish I'd taken the blue pill. Or the red pill. Whichever one it is where you keep that mental/social/emotional virginity. But if Ignorance is Bliss why aren't more of these fucking morons happy?
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