I'm no Superman

So the new beard draws a lot of 'distinguished' comments. And certain people at work are calling me Professor so now I'm Professor Cyrano. Which leads to 'Professor C' the head of the Cyrano School for Gifted Child-Like Adults, whose superpower is the Psychic Bite; he can use the sharp teeth of his mind to punish bad guys. He also has a cool hoverchair he can zoom around in. Urbane, refined, snappy dresser--he's a political animal, dedicated to protecting his students. And he has never had a fabulous torrid affair with Ian McKellan. Ever. Really.
So, you, my students, tell me about yourselves, your powers, your weaknesses... tell me your stories.