An Infinite Number of Monkeys

Posted by John Scalzi

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2025/11/01/new-cover-the-scientist/

https://whatever.scalzi.com/?p=58053

Krissy is off with friends for Halloween, so I did what I do when left to my own devices: I recorded a cover song. This one is from Coldplay, although my favorite version of it is from Aimee Mann. I tried covering her version but it turns out she sings higher than I do. Who knew? This one is more in my range. But here’s her version, because it’s great. I hope you like my version too.

— JS

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2025/11/01/new-cover-the-scientist/

https://whatever.scalzi.com/?p=58053

Posted by Athena Scalzi

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2025/10/31/a-mini-vacay-in-columbus-part-3/

https://whatever.scalzi.com/?p=58016

For our third and final day in the bustling metropolis of Columbus, Bryant and I decided that instead of brunch, we just wanted coffee and pastries. We had to be out of the Airbnb by 10am, which was actually one of the main complaints I saw in the review of the place. It did seem a little early to me, as well.

Back to the coffee, Bryant really wanted to try Fox in the Snow cafe, but I told him I’d been there once before and hadn’t cared for it. I went a few months ago with a Columbus friend to one of their locations, and I was super excited to try it, as it’s very popular online and a favorite among locals. When we got there, my friend ordered a caramel latte. The employee said they didn’t have caramel, only vanilla. So we both ended up getting a vanilla latte since it was apparently the only flavor they had. I also ordered a ham and cheese croissant, and he handed it to me right out of the case. I asked if I could please get it warmed up, and he said “we don’t do that here.” What do you mean you don’t warm up pastries?

Overall, the employee was definitely on the ruder side, I was shocked they seemingly only had vanilla, and my pastry was cold and hard. I definitely expected better based on the hype and the price point.

Thankfully, this time around, my experience was much better. Some places do deserve second chances!

The employees were much friendlier this time, and one even complimented Bryant’s sweater. We both ordered an iced chai, and got a blueberry cream cheese pastry to split:

As certified iced chai lovers, Bryant and I thought that these ones were pretty exceptional. They were perfectly spiced, but also sweet and creamy. The blueberry pastry had a yummy sugared crust, and plenty of filling. They did not skimp on the blueberries nor on the cream cheese filling. Both items were actually ridiculously good, and we contemplated going back for a second chai because one truly did not feel like enough, but we resisted, because we actually had a second cafe we wanted to check out.

That’s right, y’all, we’re doubling up on cafes.

Up next on our list was Pistacia Vera in the German Village. Now here was a cafe I had heard so much about online. Whether it was Tik Tok or Instagram, all the foodie girlies were downright obsessed with this place, so obviously I was very excited to try it.

I also realized that going to a cafe would be a great opportunity to do the Big Idea for that day. Nothing better than sitting in a coffee shop on your laptop (I have never actually done this, this was going to be the first time believe it or not).

When we got there, all of the outdoor patio seating was completely full up (there honestly was not much), and there was no seating at all inside. That was pretty bizarre to me. I asked if they had WiFi and they said no. Tragic.

Tons of beautiful pastries lined the glass cases, and it was honestly kind of overwhelming what to pick. We ended up picking a pistachio praline eclair, a plum raspberry almond tart, and a chocolate chunk pistachio cookie.

(I swear I could not get a good angle on these.)

The raspberry tart was seven dollars, which is definitely a good bit, but it was actually a very dense slice. I was blown away by how good the tart was. It was packed full of raspberry and almond flavor, and it was so soft and moist. I loved the plum slices and almonds on top. Honestly it was amazing, but I kept having to take one bite and put it back because it was a lot.

As for the pistachio eclair, it didn’t taste like anything at all. It really didn’t have much flavor, and Bryant was even like, “well, I don’t taste much.” So that one was a let down, and was five dollars.

Our other pistachio goodie, the cookie, had that absolutely perfect cookie texture of chewy and dense with a crisper outside. In terms of flavor it was pretty good, but I wouldn’t say it was like, wildly amazing or anything. It was three dollars and fifty cents, which I think was actually a good price for the size of the cookie, especially when you consider that it’s pretty dang stuffed with chocolate chunks and pistachios.

But you know what was not a good price? Their coffee. Bryant and I both got an iced maple butter latte, which is listed on their menu as having espresso, maple, salted cream, and oat milk. It was a 16oz iced latte. For NINE DOLLARS. No cold foam, no maple cookie topper, or anything else you can think of that would’ve maybe jazzed it up somehow to make it worth nine dollars. After looking at their menu, that’s not even the most expensive latte they have. Their pistachio latte is ten! Ten dollars! And a lot of the drink is just ice! Plus it was just a standard latte, it wasn’t even mindblowingly good.

So in total we spent over forty dollars on two iced lattes and three pastries plus tip, and there wasn’t even any seating or WiFi and the workers weren’t even friendly. I’m literally distraught. I have never paid that much for a latte, and I hope to never pay that much for one again. I usually pay $6-$7 and even that feels like a lot, but I sure as hell ain’t going to make it at home so what am I gonna do. Whole lotta nothin’.

Anyways, at this point I really needed to get the Big Idea done and I didn’t really think it was feasibly to try to go a third cafe just for some WiFi, especially because they may not even have it. So, I did the only sensible option left. I went to a library.

The Upper Arlington Public Library was my savior that day, its Internet free and fast, its heart courageous and brave. Thank you, public library, you’re always there when I need you.

Bryant and I still had some time before our ticketed time of 1pm for the Franklin Park Conservatory and Botanical Gardens, so we decided to go across the street from the library to Littleton’s Market.

Littleton’s Market is a gourmet grocery store that has tons of specialty ingredients hard to find at regular stores, a bakery, a coffee shop, a cafe that serves a surprisingly huge selection of food (including oysters), plus serves beer, wine, and cocktails, and even has events like wine tastings! As someone who loves unique and funky food items, perusing this store was so much fun. There was lots of cool stuff and tons of amazing looking food. Plenty of people were enjoying lunch outside on their patio which even had heat lamps around. It was such a nice atmosphere and such a cute store with a lot of great stuff. I hope to go back sometime when I haven’t just had way too much coffee and pastries.

Finally, it was time for the pièce de résistance: the conservatory.

I have only been to the Franklin Park Conservatory once before, back in May, so I was excited to see if anything was different this time around. This was Bryant’s first time at any conservatory or botanical garden literally ever, so that was exciting, too.

When I tell you we had the best time, I really mean it. The Franklin Park Conservatory is an absolute treasure. Every section is incredibly beautiful, made even more visually stunning by the Chihuly glass sculptures (18 in total!). There’s so many different biomes to wander through, each having totally unique flora, and even some fauna, with an awesome koi fish pond in the Pacific Island Water Garden section. There’s a truly amazing display of bonsai trees, all of which are decades old and meticulously cared for. For the fall, they’ve decorated the outdoor portions with hundreds of pumpkins.

Not only do they have an extensive plant collection for your viewing pleasure, but they also host tons of events and classes. Whether you want to learn how to better care for your plants, bake a cake, craft a stained glass pumpkin, or sip cocktails, they’ve got a huge variety of events to choose from. Literally like almost every day they have something different going on.

Plus, they have a neat gift shop, and you can even buy plants there. Of course, Bryant and I each had to take one home to commemorate our time at the conservatory.

Bryant said that being surrounded by so much greenery and beautiful flowers cured his depression. Honestly, I totally agree. I felt so at peace amongst the palms and ferns, literally just in awe of the huge, incredible, beautiful plants around me. It was a great experience, and I wish I lived closer so I could go more often.

After walking around so much and working up an appetite, it was time for our final destination in Columbus, Taj on Fifth. Bryant and I love Indian food, so I booked a 4pm reservation to have an early dinner before hitting the road.

Located on Fifth Avenue just North of the Grandview Heights area, Taj on Fifth opened last year and prides themselves on traditional Indian cooking with a modern twist, and they even grind their spices in house!

When we got there, we were the first ones in the door since they had just opened for dinner service, so I took the opportunity to snap a picture of part of the interior.

I actually really like the vibe they’ve got going on here. I like the wood and leather look, and the covered patio on the right makes it so that you can enjoy it any time of year. I would say the only qualm I have is the flatscreen TVs at the bar, but y’all already know that is a very specific issue that I’ve had with multiple places. I just think it detracts from the nice look of the place. But I digress that it really is just a personal thing.

Since we were there at four on a Wednesday, it was during Happy Hour. It’s Tuesday-Friday from 4-6 and you get $5 off their signature cocktails, $2 off a glass of beer or wine, and $2 off small plates as well. With a deal like that, I simply had to try their Chai-Espresso Martini:

This had OYO Honey Vanilla Bean Vodka, espresso brew, Taj House Chai syrup, and pecan bitters. I absolutely loved this espresso martini. I thought it was a unique and yummy take on a classic drink, but it still retained all the good aspects of the traditional cocktail. The Chai flavor only enhanced the drink, it didn’t detract anything. After the $5 discount, this cocktail was only nine bucks! Or it might’ve been ten. Somewhere around there.

And here’s a look at their large plates menu:

Before we ordered our entrees, we decided to try their Mixed Pakora Platter, which was one of their small plates:

This came with cauliflower, potato, paneer, onion, and kale. It was served with a cilantro-mint chutney and a tamarind chutney. This appetizer seriously smacked. Everything was perfectly crispy and even the kale had great texture. The cilantro-mint sauce was so fresh and herbaceous, and the tamarind sauce had so much flavor, a little went a long way. This was such a good portion, there was plenty for both of us. We tore this appetizer up, and it definitely seemed worth the $15 (thirteen since it was happy hour!).

For our entrees, Bryant got the Taj Stuffed Paneer, which was $23, and I got the Saag Paneer for $19. Of course, we had to get garlic naan to go with it, too, which was $6.

Look how scrumptious that looks! It might look like a small portion in the photo, but I can assure you these were definitely generous portions. Even though both the saag paneer and stuffed paneer were listed as mild, I definitely felt like my saag paneer was rather spicy. Bryant’s dish seemed a considerable amount less spicy than mine, which is odd because I don’t really think of Saag Paneer as being that spicy of a dish. Most Indian places I’ve been to ask how spicy you want it on a scale of one to whatever, but Taj on Fifth just has their food come as it is. I can respect that, but I am pretty weak to spice.

Since it was so spicy, I asked for a side of their mixed raita:

I’m not sure what all was in here other than basically yogurt, herbs, and spices, but this mixture was delish. After mixing it in to the saag paneer, the yogurt sauce cooled my meal down a lot while giving it lots of good flavor from all the fresh herbs and spices. I’m so glad I thought to try it.

Besides the good food and delicious drink I had, the service was also very friendly. When the bill came, I mentioned that I actually wanted to get a mango lassi to go, and instead of fixing my check and printing me a new one with the lassi on it, they gave it to me for free and said it was on the house! The lassis are six dollars so that is definitely a considerable freebie.

We were there for over an hour and no one else came in the entire time. Our waitress even asked us how we heard about them (Tik Tok), which is giving me the vibe that this place is a hidden gem that isn’t getting the traffic it deserves. If you’re in Columbus, I highly recommend Taj on Fifth. They could use some love!

Mango lassi in tow, we hit the road back to the West, the sparkle of the city still gleamin’ in our eyes as we chased the sunset.

All in all, even with some slight disappointments, this Columbus trip was one to remember! I’m so glad we went on it.

Have you tried Fox in the Snow cafe? Are you an espresso martini maniac like me? Do you like Indian food? Let me know in the comments, and have a great day!

-AMS

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2025/10/31/a-mini-vacay-in-columbus-part-3/

https://whatever.scalzi.com/?p=58016