Not the sharpest tool in the shed

Note to self--dischead on AIM is not the dischead I know. As evidenced by the confused exchange just completed. However, dischead on AIM is apparently having a good day, but not thinking of moving to California.

All the things she said

Said in passing to a co-worker at 22:25

You know what would make today perfect?

(pause)

A hip flask of vodka and a taser.

EDIT
Just discovered via the_xtina: Snakes! On a mother fuckin' plane!
Well. Snake, technically. But still! On a plane!