I'm doing this wrong.

At first it was just failing to get stuff done--scheduled stuff, guitar practice, writing, exercise, that felt manageable especially with no job to get in the way, and it just ended up taking longer than I thought it would need to. And so every day felt... like I was focused on what wasn't done instead of what was. And I'm working on that. Now, having changed rooms for redecorating purposes a couple of times, I'm losing things. All of my worldly possessions basically are in boxes, but I can't find my Kindle, I can't find Brian's art to hang with the rest of it, I can't find Abbie's photos... It feels like I'm unraveling a little. Like whatever I'm standing on is inevitably being washed away. I almost took up smoking again last week. I thought I'd pared down to the important things and let go of the rest. Apparently there's more paring to do.