May. 30th, 2015

cyrano: (I want to go home)
Today was my first counseling appointment in quite some time. Years. Largely because I hadn't felt I had accomplished much with previous counselors. You've probably heard my discourse on this. About twenty minutes in, she leaned forward slightly and said "You know yourself very well." Not a question. I nodded, relieved that I wouldn't have to spend several weeks convincing her that I had some idea what was going on inside me.

Just to confound matters, tonight I was reading about mindfulness since, apparently next to yoga, coffee, and six hours of sleep a night, mindfulness is the most beneficial thing I can do for myself. Perusing Mindfulnet.org I came across the statement that mindfulness was the direct knowing of what is going on inside and outside ourselves moment by moment. And I realised that I didn't often tell myself what was going on inside. So, good on me for knowing that.

All said, mindfulness meditation--isolating the brain and concentrating or at least trying to concentrate on a single focus--still sounds like a punishment.

October 2025

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