![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cyranoI arrived in California the day before Thanksgiving. The next day, I was at Merlin's Thanksgiving Orphans gathering. Today is the day before Thanksgiving. Tomorrow I shall be at Merlin's Thanksgiving Orphans gathering.
I still can't reliably tell how long I've been here, but it's close to ten years. It's long enough that I think of it as Home. Long enough to build friendships, to break them, to rebuild them again. Long enough to get used to the weird lack of seasons, the idea of calling and making a reservation to go to the cinema, the standstill traffic at two in the afternoon, the metrosprawl which denies the appearance of unplanned greenery, the need to put cilantro on all food products, all the things about this place that make me crazy.
Long enough to find the Pacific Range that reminds me so much of being back in Oregon, the Stevens Creek bike trail that looks and smells like biking the trails in Corvallis. Long enough to discover the Orpheum, the Warfield, the Palace of Fine Arts, the Exploratorium, Ethiopian restaurants, burlesque shows, Lee Press-On, goth clubs, the Winchester Mansion, Mister S, Good Vibes, the Stanford Cinema, Rent, Rasputin's, Castro Street, all the things I'd never experienced until I came to California.
There are constantly factors tugging on me, it seems, pointing out how smart it would be to move somewhere else. Seattle, Portland, Texas, Florida, Chicago, New England, anywhere. But I'm beginning to think I might actually be here to stay. And it's because of the people here--the friends I have, the connections I've made. Because all of those things up there? They're just things. I could live without a Trader Joe's or a Jamba Juice or an Alcatraz. I'm not sure that I'd call what I'd be doing without people I love close to me 'living'. So today I'm thankful for the people who support me, who visit me, who live with me, who live near me, who used to live near me, who would live near me if I wasn't so far away, who would live near me if I weren't living in California, who put up with my self-deprecation and whining, who think of me, who care about me. I don't tell them enough just how desperately important they all are to me, and they deserve to know.
There. Now look what you did--you made me cry at work.
I still can't reliably tell how long I've been here, but it's close to ten years. It's long enough that I think of it as Home. Long enough to build friendships, to break them, to rebuild them again. Long enough to get used to the weird lack of seasons, the idea of calling and making a reservation to go to the cinema, the standstill traffic at two in the afternoon, the metrosprawl which denies the appearance of unplanned greenery, the need to put cilantro on all food products, all the things about this place that make me crazy.
Long enough to find the Pacific Range that reminds me so much of being back in Oregon, the Stevens Creek bike trail that looks and smells like biking the trails in Corvallis. Long enough to discover the Orpheum, the Warfield, the Palace of Fine Arts, the Exploratorium, Ethiopian restaurants, burlesque shows, Lee Press-On, goth clubs, the Winchester Mansion, Mister S, Good Vibes, the Stanford Cinema, Rent, Rasputin's, Castro Street, all the things I'd never experienced until I came to California.
There are constantly factors tugging on me, it seems, pointing out how smart it would be to move somewhere else. Seattle, Portland, Texas, Florida, Chicago, New England, anywhere. But I'm beginning to think I might actually be here to stay. And it's because of the people here--the friends I have, the connections I've made. Because all of those things up there? They're just things. I could live without a Trader Joe's or a Jamba Juice or an Alcatraz. I'm not sure that I'd call what I'd be doing without people I love close to me 'living'. So today I'm thankful for the people who support me, who visit me, who live with me, who live near me, who used to live near me, who would live near me if I wasn't so far away, who would live near me if I weren't living in California, who put up with my self-deprecation and whining, who think of me, who care about me. I don't tell them enough just how desperately important they all are to me, and they deserve to know.
There. Now look what you did--you made me cry at work.