Say goodbye on a night like this

[cyrano]

Staring down the barrel of the big Disconnect. Work still frustrating and making it harder to care. And pretty much not caring. I want to get the dishes done and the house cleaned and a bunch of other stuff before the housemate gets home. But instead I sit on the couch and poke at whatever is within reach and doesn't require much effort.
Unsatisfied and restless, but also listless and lazy. And eating crap, which I know isn't helping.

But on the upside, if there's absolutely nobody on the road then driving is tolerable. I took Amy's copy of the Utah Saints album out for a drive in the collection of industrial parks between 101 and the bay at about 20 mph.

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The sky was dark--rich blue at the skyline darkening up to black, and getting blacker as the light bled away. The moon was a thin crescent, but you could still see the suggestion of the rest of the satellite even though it was in the shadow.
A single star hung directly below, like the only pearl on a string.
The heat of the day had been blown away by the breeze off the ocean. All the customers were upstairs or on the bus. As were all the employees. I could pretend I was alone on the tarmac. It was the good moment of the day.

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Things that confused me #742: Bram Stoker's Dracula by Fred Saberhagen

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I have no idea what the cats are doing, or which one it is that's doing it, but somebody keeps making a disconcerting noise, like things being knocked off of other things.

Comments

[miss-friday.livejournal.com]

Are they paying you to care? Is it in the contract? If not, caring is optional, so suppress all urges to do so. Granted continuing to do a superlative job while not caring is required, but I think you are conscientious enough to do this. Am I wrong?

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

They are not paying me to care. And more and more I think that the higher levels of management are less interested in seeing a really good job done and more interested in just seeing the jobs they're piling on get done.
I'm conscientious enough to want to do a superlative job. But my conscience is wearing away to the point where sometimes I'll just do that bare minimum they demand for the paycheck they provide and washing my hands of going Above and Beyond the Call of Duty.