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[personal profile] cyrano
Or at least usually I don't dream. Rather, I am assured I dream, but I have no evidence to support this.
The few times I have, (About five times since I was 21) usually the dreams involve being responsible for a group of people who are being killed one by one. Dreams of despair, failure, frustration, incompetence. But usually I never feel personally endangered.
This morning was different. I'd witnessed a botched assassination, which had a higher body count than planned, and whoever had done the job (possibly the government) was tracking me down.
Somehow I knew they'd started contacting places like my grocery store, trying to find out where I lived or other information.
I told my housemate to get the hell out, and that I was going on the road. I called my Dad, and he seemed amused and unworried (a stereotypical Dad reaction) and so I hung up, gave up, and ran upstairs to frantically poke at my room, trying to figure out what I absolutely needed.
Then the stereo alarm came on. The past few days, I've had a PWEI album in there, and that kicks me into coherence. I think it's probably a good thing that yesterday I was listening to the Xians/Pagans double disc I had Jon make for me, on the more quiet, meditative 'Xians' CD.
Despite the gentler transition between awake and asleep (a transition I invariably hate making) I feel like crap. Hopefully this will only taint the first few hours of the day and by noonish I'll be back to normal.

October 2025

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