It's the wrong game, with the wrong chips.
May. 4th, 2004 08:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cyranoI was considering making separate posts about sucky finances and my current emotional state but they overlap a good deal. So I'm not going to bother.
This morning I got a letter from another collection agency. The medical bill that AltaVista, my old employer, finally said (after about eight months of arguing) they would deal with is now far past due and they'd like their money right now. Apparently they dealt with it like they dealt with me.
This is after finally managing to make arrangements to deal with my $20K student loan situation.
This on top of the two other loans I'm working on repaying, in various shades of success.
Between the IRS checks, the first great big (mandatory) student loan payment and a few other things, I managed to bounce four checks at the end of the month despite help from the housemate on deferred rent payments.
There are days where I get the very painful impression that I'm amazingly foolish for trying to stay here where it is hideously expensive to live unless you're a drug dealer or one of the seven still-employed software engineers.
My friend Barry at work today suggested declaring bankruptcy today, which would get the student loan and medical people off my back, lose me both my credit cards, make it difficult/impossible to buy a car or rent an apartment for five years, and... probably some other bad things. Any of my finanically savvy friends care to spell out the pros and cons of this idea?
Elvie's daughter died yesterday, a surprise case of cancer, apparently. Which continues the mortality of the past few weeks--nothing terribly close but still not pleasant or uplifting. I had the interview for the secretary position, and probably did okay. There are four other people up for the position; I have no idea who they are. The decision should be made at the end of this week on that. I could really use that extra $1.50 an hour, even if it only amounts to an extra $50 a month.
I'm getting really tired. And frustrated that nothing I do seems to really have a productive effect toward my future. My rage toward drivers who refuse to use their turn signals to announce that they're about to do something that could kill me continues to rise. The mollification I get when somebody uses their turn signal while doing something stupid or dangerous wanes.
If I could afford it, I'd consider moving somewhere with a lower cost of living. Probably Portland or Seattle. But it doesn't much matter since it's prohibitively expensive.
And yes, I do occasionally consider other methods of escaping my problems in a more permanent fashion. This is not a plea for pity, or a cry for help. It's me telling people where I'm at, because god knows I can't actually say these things out loud. It'd be too much like admitting I have a problem.
In other disturbing news, I find myself actually enjoying the CD of S-Pop that Tamago has lent me.
This morning I got a letter from another collection agency. The medical bill that AltaVista, my old employer, finally said (after about eight months of arguing) they would deal with is now far past due and they'd like their money right now. Apparently they dealt with it like they dealt with me.
This is after finally managing to make arrangements to deal with my $20K student loan situation.
This on top of the two other loans I'm working on repaying, in various shades of success.
Between the IRS checks, the first great big (mandatory) student loan payment and a few other things, I managed to bounce four checks at the end of the month despite help from the housemate on deferred rent payments.
There are days where I get the very painful impression that I'm amazingly foolish for trying to stay here where it is hideously expensive to live unless you're a drug dealer or one of the seven still-employed software engineers.
My friend Barry at work today suggested declaring bankruptcy today, which would get the student loan and medical people off my back, lose me both my credit cards, make it difficult/impossible to buy a car or rent an apartment for five years, and... probably some other bad things. Any of my finanically savvy friends care to spell out the pros and cons of this idea?
Elvie's daughter died yesterday, a surprise case of cancer, apparently. Which continues the mortality of the past few weeks--nothing terribly close but still not pleasant or uplifting. I had the interview for the secretary position, and probably did okay. There are four other people up for the position; I have no idea who they are. The decision should be made at the end of this week on that. I could really use that extra $1.50 an hour, even if it only amounts to an extra $50 a month.
I'm getting really tired. And frustrated that nothing I do seems to really have a productive effect toward my future. My rage toward drivers who refuse to use their turn signals to announce that they're about to do something that could kill me continues to rise. The mollification I get when somebody uses their turn signal while doing something stupid or dangerous wanes.
If I could afford it, I'd consider moving somewhere with a lower cost of living. Probably Portland or Seattle. But it doesn't much matter since it's prohibitively expensive.
And yes, I do occasionally consider other methods of escaping my problems in a more permanent fashion. This is not a plea for pity, or a cry for help. It's me telling people where I'm at, because god knows I can't actually say these things out loud. It'd be too much like admitting I have a problem.
In other disturbing news, I find myself actually enjoying the CD of S-Pop that Tamago has lent me.
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My two cents
Date: 2004-05-05 09:03 am (UTC)