And then no need to endure any more

[cyrano]

A snippet of a letter I wrote to my sister, because it covers a lot of things I've been thinking about recently, and in an at least vaguely coherent fashion:
good to hear from you.
Things here have been worse, but I would not mind trading in the past six
months for something with little racing stripes and a V8 engine. Still without
a job, still writing up the UB40 and On the Dole. It's stressful, but the
rest of my life is doing its best to compensate. I have lots of friends who
are very supportive, looking out for me and trying to find me work.
And I think every one of us gets the feeling that we don't talk to each other
enough. I certainly do, and get my share of feeling guilty about it. Or at
least dissatisfied. Opportunities, we get them every day and we have our
choice to take them or let them flow past. Megs' parents run a restaurant in
Ohio, near Akron, or rather they used to. I'd heard lots of stories about it,
and how good it was, and was looking forward to someday stopping by there on
my way somewhere else. I'd gotten this idea that it would be there forever.
And now it's gone. And that's just a restaurant.
California. I hated it when I moved here, but I think I'm adjusting to it.
A lot of the things I railed against are becoming acceptible. I guess I'm
becoming desensitised. And there are so many things about the place that do
make me want to stay. I usually hate cities. San Francisco has got to be one
of the prettiest I've ever seen. Portland is still nicer, but it's also much
smaller. And I could never have gone to see Rent in Portland. Or so many of
those arty foreign films. Or thai food one night, then Afghani, then sushi,
then La Fondue. I sometimes miss my righteous indignation about the parking,
the traffic jams, the architecture, the needing reservations for movie tickets.
But in the end... there are a lot of balances.

I went to see 'The Fast and the Furious' today, and it did not disappoint. Perhaps I would have enjoyed this movie more if I had some involvement in America's Love Affair With the Car(tm). Or liked going fast. Or if anybody I knew who drove too fast on a public street wasn't an asshole. Or if I thought Vin Diesel was a sociopath hottie. It was loud and predictable, and the characters felt very shallow. But there were lots of fast cars, run by laptop computers, and drivers doing cool things and acting even cooler, and explosions and stunts and things. So it delivered what it promised, and there were no plot holes/logical failures that made me wince and cry, and it was not a bad movie.
Zounds, I had a lot to say about that movie. What sparked that garrulous fit?
Maybe I'm feeling more communicative after a talk I had with a friend last night. I hate confrontation, I have a pathological fear of people not liking me. Like the guy on Big Hit. I also, most of the time, feel like the effort used to argue a point can be better used doing things like making sure I eat, and running errands.
In this situation, it's easy to let people push me further than I should. It's easy to not express an opinion when it might inspire conflict.
Except online, I guess. I don't have the URL or else I'd hot link to it, but we had a raging conflagration over a kid in Philedelphia who was killed in the subway. Current deduction suggests that he broke into the coachman's cabin at the rear of the train, popped open a window and stuck his head out. After getting struck in the head by posts or pipes he fell from the train fatally injured. The parents are suing SEPTA (the transit authority) for having inadequate locks which can be picked with any sharp object.
I waxed wroth about yet another frivolous lawsuit, which sparked a 45 minute debate about the common law concept of 'attractive nuisance' and personal accountability and all sorts of things.

Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats' feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar