cyrano: (stupid)
[personal profile] cyrano
So I've been surrounded by people telling me what an amazing author Dan Brown (Author of the world-shattering DaVinci Code novel soon to be a major motion picture with Tom Hanks Jean Reno and Audrey Tatou) is, and how good his writing is.
Well, I just finished one of his books and OMFG awful. The characters are at best two dimensional, the heros are all square jawed beautiful super geniii, the dialogue is constructed from papier mache and tastes about the same, the text itself is awkward and Everything! Is! Extremely! Important! right up to where the three million conductors on the world's biggest computer catch fire. He tells us his characters are clever, and then he shows us how clever they are by writing about the amazingly UNclever things they say or do. Continuity is frustratingly spotty, and all of his amazingly smart clever people have some very oddly placed spots of ignorance when it becomes neccessary for the plot or to raise the level of 'suspense' for them to suddenly become uneducated morons. His subtle foreshadowings are like a battery wrapped in a wet sock which he then beats the reader with.
This did not provoke the visceral revulsion that the Thomas Covenant Septology did, as there was not the emotional involvement. I just didn't care enough about the characters or the plot. This book, Digital Fortress, gets no wags at all. Not even a limp thumping wag. Just bloody awful.
And yet I still read the whole damned thing. Because I'm not very smart and I'm very stubborn.

Maybe this is just going to be another 'Matrix'-esq thing, like Sin City. But at least with Matrix and Sin City I actually kind of liked the product.

Date: 2005-04-20 09:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windrose.livejournal.com
I haven't read the book, nor am I likely to. I think what amuses me the most is the way people are treating the whole Da Vinci Code phenomenon like it's that has only just come to light, when these stories and legends have been around for centuries. Anyone who has done even a little bit of reading about the Templars (or hell, just medieval history) has run into legends about the supposedly scared bloodline of Merovingian kings. Really, it's old hat, the sort of thing that used to get made into an episode of In Search Of...." but nobody ever took seriously.

Date: 2005-04-20 09:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cyranocyrano.livejournal.com
Oh dear god. Is that what it's about?
After reading his ham handed attempts to write about computers, cryptography and the NSA, I cannot *WAIT* to see him tackle Catholic mythology.

Date: 2005-04-20 09:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windrose.livejournal.com
*snicker* Yep, that's what the book is about. From the publicity, you'd think he was the only person brave enough to ever write about it, but Medieval and Biblical scholars have been researching those legends for years. All Brown did was put it into the Airport Novel format.

Date: 2005-04-20 09:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cyranocyrano.livejournal.com
Or that other people hadn't already written similar sensationalist novels on 'the sordid history of The Church and The Secrets They Don't Want You To Know OMiGod It's the Pope's Al Capone's Secret Vault!!!11!!!'

Date: 2005-04-20 09:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windrose.livejournal.com
Exactly! They're keeping the truth about the Holy Grail locked up next to the proof that Earth was actually seeded by aliens. ;-)

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