Felt the healing in her fingertips

[cyrano]

Before The Machine I apparently woke up several hundred times a night. The difference appears to be that now I only wake up several times, I just remember each one of them. It's another thing that I hope gets better as I become acclimatized to the mask.
The humidifier is difficult to wrestle on and off of the machine, and I was told to wash it every day so there's almost fifteen wrestlings a week. This morning, I cut my finger while trying to get it loose--a minor cut admittedly, but it Burned Like Fire. If I have problems with it, I'm not certain how they expect somebody more physically limited to manage it. Or, again, maybe over time the process becomes less cumbersome and difficult as the action is repeated and the machine is 'broken in'.
I woke up at about ten (for the last time), which is what happens when you get off work at midnight so you're home at one but you're so full of tension and anger that it takes a couple of hours to get to sleep even if you're exhausted. Which is not what I came here to tell you. I told you that story to tell you this story. Woke up at ten. Checked mail, checked LJ, because that is my life's blood especially now that I have no meatspace socializing, and cooked the ribs (slow bake on a rack with onions and then painted with barbecue sauce and draped with lemon slices and baked hot for ten minutes) and suddenly I was out of time before I had to leave for work, with quick quick stops at Round Table and the library (lunch and a CD on reserve).
I need to pay more attention to my time management. I can start to work on something, like my 'Letters' campaign, and discover I've spent two hours poking around the web trying to find some information on San Francisco in the 1920s and pretty much accomplished nothing on the list of 'Things To Do Today'. Or I can bring up a song on MusicMatch, checking lyrics or thinking about a mix disc, and two hours later I've created a random playlist and listened to it while correcting mp3 tags on the A through C folders on my hard drive and, again, accomplished nothing I had intended to get done. And then there are the six hour Sims2 sessions. I .... get lost in what I'm doing, which according to my reading suggests that my counselor was right when she suggested I have ADD.
I'm hoping I re-submitted my disability paperwork in time, because otherwise my time management skills have cost me a potential $500 if I can harangue them into giving it up. That's an extreme example but I bump into it a lot. The Yahoo Calendar thing has been helpful in dealing with at least remembering deadlines. (Because my memory is crappy, on a good day. One of the reasons I call people 'hon' is because I cannot guarantee that I'll remember their names in the half second of reaction time I have before I need it. Even people I've known for years, dated, lived with, still dating...) I tried carrying a notepad and writing things down but I'd forget the notebook.
This is not a cry of despair. This is not a cry for help. This is not a complaint. This is me emptying out my brain onto the coffee table and sorting through the mess for loose change. I'm gonna go back and put an LJ cut on it because it went on for far longer than I expected.

EDIT: Misplacing things, I am reminded, is another thing that disturbs me. I just spent fifteen minutes backtracking because I left my book at the sandwich counter where I bought lunch. (Note--jalapenos *and* pepperoncini *and* black pepper is too much.) My phone, as you may have heard, went walkabout on Tuesday and I still have no idea where. Sunday or Monday I'll take the old one in and re-activate it.

Comments

[elo-sf.livejournal.com]

Bring the Donkey Konga Bongas tomorrow if you have and think of it, we have 2 sets + DKonga 2 which supports 4 player.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

I'll mention it to Tersa. (:

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

You know I'm generally in the same boat when it comes to memory, absent-minded as hell and prone to losing anything. I've kind of had to work around it in life by a series of ingrained habits. The first is writing down everything I really need to remember. If I can't do something the second I think of it, I write it down. This is how I made it through grad school, and why I generally have pockets full of little note papers. It helps, though. The other thing is to do a careful inventory before I leave the house, I do this by seeing that I've got what I need and repeating it in my head. If the two lists check out I'm good to go.

I suspect, though, that the problem here has a lot to do with the fact that you're an incredibly creative and thoughtful person. You just spend a lot of your time and energy thinking about and working on creative stuff. Sometimes it's really hard to pull yourself out of that mode and deal with the mundane world.

And sorry if I sound too preachy or this reads far too much like a lecture. I know you just wanted to vent, but this does seem to be interfering with your life to an uncomfortable degree, and I just hate seeing people I care about being uncomfortable in any way.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've tried the pockets full of little notes but I usually end up forgetting to take them out and look at them until after the notes have made a run through the washing machine. q:
But the Yahoo!Calendar thing is helpful as far as big planned events go, and leaving the bill in my book as a bookmark so I keep seeing it and being reminded to pay it also helps. (:

[tersa.livejournal.com]

The Scheduler and Notes functions on my Sidekick is about the only thing keeping me vaguely organized anymore. Ezzy isn't kidding: it becomes your brain.

As Ebonlock said, ingrained habits also helps. One of the ingrained habits is to put something in the Scheduler if I need to remember to do something later (with an alert reminder so it'll go off when I need to remember to do it). Or if, for example, I need to remember some random factoid or to pick something up at the store, I put it in a Note.

I would, otherwise, forget everything. And even with these tools, I still do sometimes (like, thinking I can remember something until I get home from work, so don't put it into the Scheduler, then forgetting anyway).

Most modern phones have *some* functionality of this, even my old crappy AT&T/Cingular phone. If/when you find your new phone or if you replace it, you may want to investigate that as an option.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the Yahoo!Calendar has been a big help as far as remembering big planned events. I should try leaning on that more.