Why not ask for more?

[cyrano]

I want to communicate. I want to write a post that will talk about how I'm feeling. I am unable to communicate about any topic that's important to me at this time. I want to connect to people. I want to tell a story that's worth the telling. I want to lose myself in a story somebody else tells that's more real than the one I'm in. I want to go back to school, to improve myself. I want to accomplish something I can point to and say "I did that." and actually care. I'm surrounded by the various requirements of merely surviving. And they're smothering me. Opportunities fade, options disappear, and I don't feel like they're being replaced. Or perhaps they are, but not with anything as bright.
My old job at AltaVista had an office building in San Mateo right under the flight path for SFO. I used to sit in my office and look out the window as planes took off and landed and I sat there going nowhere. With this job, the feeling is less intense because I physically go places on occasion.
I'm thinking of taking up Jeremy's "Ask Me Anything Friday" if I can remember to do so, because I want the attention. But for now, tell me something good. About me, about you, about baby duckies and fluffy kittens, about whatever.

Comments

[miss-friday.livejournal.com]

I disagree wholeheartedly. You are accomplishing "something." You bring honest love and unbashed joy to those you care to know. You effect more lives in a positive way than most people I've ever met. No, that won't make headlines, but it is changing the world. You better yourself every time you read a book or write a story or share an idea. You are more educated than most PhDs. You are the most generous person I know.

Good Things About Moi:
1. I do not have to serve on a Kern County jury.
2. There is a 80% I will be living within 10 miles of you two months from now.
3. #2 could be 100% by Thursday.
4. Two weeks from now, I'm going to be in Hawaii.
5. I reread Dandelion Wine today. The only thing that kept me from crying was my sitting in a public place. There is sweetness in memories that can never be taken away.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

I was just thinking about you today. Yay for the job update--I was terribly curious. And wow, Hawaii. I want to go some day.

I love you. *hugs*

[miss-friday.livejournal.com]

Don't get your hopes up. Forecast on #2: Down to 40%. Could be 0% by Friday.

That's why I wanted to talk to you about honesty and scruples.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Fingers still firmly crossed. Let me know when I can call.