I don't sleep so I don't dream so I don't wake up frightened

[cyrano]

The past two weeks I've been sleeping for crap, when I sleep. I'd really like it to stop now. I mean, if it were a typical manic surge, then I could be doing stuff while I stayed up until four thirty in the morning. I could rip CDs, or do dishes, or finish laundry, or get some reading done, or any number of productive projects. But I don't get typical manic surges. While I am not sleepy, I am fucking *exhausted*. The brain functions at a minimal level, and only my firm grasp on the scruff of language's neck allows me to communicate in a reasonable fashion. The only time I appear to actually be sleepy is when it's amazingly inconvenient to functioning, or to maintaining the sleep schedule required to do my job. My body aches, and it does not make me less irritable. I fuss about finances, and about my incredible lack of a path of progress in my work-related life, in useless self-defeating circles. In fact, I think that the key to the whole of the past two weeks is 'downward spiral feedback cycle'. Which is bullshit and needs to stop.