Waiting to change, but she's cold inside

[cyrano]

State of the Coyote address, as being presented on an occasional basis when situation merits.

Between extra holiday work and being responsible for the home and holiday socializing, I'm feeling stretched rather thin. And it does not look like I'm going to see a reduction in demands I have to meet in the near future. We're currently down three shifts at work, which on some nights means a 40% reduction in the workforce and also means I may see several six-day weeks over the next couple of months. With winter weather, they will likely be long nights, as we often run ten and twelve hour days until March. I need to start putting things together regarding school, and with work shortages it doesn't look like I'll be getting any time off until things stabilize again. (Plus we'll have to have all the manpower we can muster for training replacements--training essentially pulls more people off the line until the trainee is ready to survive at a position on their own.)
I've been getting by thus far on ignoring any nonessential tasks, drinking caffeinated soda and occasionally smoking. I'd like to create something a little more sustainable, and I strongly resent it when life throws more stress at me while I'm in the process of trying to make my life more stable and less stressful long term.

My mom sent me a lovely heather blue blanket that she knit for me, and I found an artist named KT Tunstall who I'm very fond of. (She's the one in that 'sexy girl with guitar' video I posted months back. Scottish and rockin' like early Melissa Etheridge.) Dresden Dolls apparently goes on that list of bands that, given current information and previous experience, I should love but just don't, along with Tori Amos, Enya, Ben Folds and whomever else. Gothy dress up band, an affectation for Kurt Weil and the Weimaraner era, a piano...

I am still looking for that silver bullet which helps me resolve my issues with my low energy level, as I have not yet seen dramatic weight loss and renewed vigor with the new medication.

Comments

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

I shouldn't smoke. But because I'm too lazy to exercize the will not to, then I allow myself some five or six over the holiday months. It's a shortcut which allows me to relax, and sometimes simply using an unlit cigarette as a prop to focus breathing I can accomplish the same thing. It is my fervent hope that next year I will be back in school and will thus not have to worry about it. (For some reason, this is the only job that has inspired me to smoke--I initially took it up because the coffee shop I worked for was offering $100 to employees who quit. So I've never really been a constant smoker, luckily.)

I am often asked what I do at the airport, and I usually do not describe it in the same fashion twice. I sit in a little concrete bunker in the airport basement and I listen to six radio channels, four co-workers, three phone lines and a few other informational input sources and then I direct crews in planes, crews out of planes, agents on the ramp, agents at the gates, manage traffic flow, investigate and resolve conflicts and obstacles, maintain paperwork and make certain that everybody who needs to be informed is informed. Essentially, it's management. Information management, resource management, crisis management... but with out the 'Manager' title or pay bump.

[phillipalden.livejournal.com]

I can see using a smoke to relax. I was never one of those casual users of nicotine, but a full-blown cig addict, so they're much more dangerous to me.

I have another friend who works at SFO, and it sounds like you both have very demanding jobs.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

In fact, for me the more dangerous element as far as addiction (and possibly health as well) is the soda. (:
I really hope I can make this school thing work out.
And then, what would also be nice, is if it was productive.