I feel safest of all
Jan. 21st, 2007 01:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cyranoPeople in cars are morons.
In defiance to this article, I'd probably rank myself as an 'average' or 'slightly below average' driver, and yet I still know that if I'm driving my beat up Volvo down the onramp toward the tinytinytiny interchange onto the freeway and there is a car a few hundred feet behind me, the proper response is not, in fact, to hit the brakes and wait halfway off the bottom of the onramp (which, in its thirty foot length also serves as an onramp) and halfway into the traffic lane.
LOOK, MOTHERFUCKER, IF YOU ARE GOING TO TRY AND KILL ME (AND I SEE NO OTHER WAY TO ASCRIBE YOUR MOTIVES HERE) THEN YOU HAD BETTER BE GOD DAMNED PACKING HEAT AND BY THE WAY I EXPECT SOME LARGE CALIBER ACTION BECAUSE I DON'T STOP FOR A .22 HOLE--I WILL FALL ON YOU ZOMBIE STYLE AND I WILL FUCK. YOUR. SHIT. UP. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? NO, YOU DON'T, BECAUSE YOU ARE A MORON. RETARDED BABBOONS MOCK YOU BECAUSE *THEY* THINK YOU'RE STUPID. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU MANAGED TO MANEUVER THE CAR THIS FAR WITHOUT PLOWING HEADFIRST INTO AN ABUTMENT, BUT STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT. IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF F. LEE ERMEY, YOU HAD BEST UNFUCK YOURSELF OR I WILL UNSCREW YOUR HEAD AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK.
That is all.
In defiance to this article, I'd probably rank myself as an 'average' or 'slightly below average' driver, and yet I still know that if I'm driving my beat up Volvo down the onramp toward the tinytinytiny interchange onto the freeway and there is a car a few hundred feet behind me, the proper response is not, in fact, to hit the brakes and wait halfway off the bottom of the onramp (which, in its thirty foot length also serves as an onramp) and halfway into the traffic lane.
LOOK, MOTHERFUCKER, IF YOU ARE GOING TO TRY AND KILL ME (AND I SEE NO OTHER WAY TO ASCRIBE YOUR MOTIVES HERE) THEN YOU HAD BETTER BE GOD DAMNED PACKING HEAT AND BY THE WAY I EXPECT SOME LARGE CALIBER ACTION BECAUSE I DON'T STOP FOR A .22 HOLE--I WILL FALL ON YOU ZOMBIE STYLE AND I WILL FUCK. YOUR. SHIT. UP. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? NO, YOU DON'T, BECAUSE YOU ARE A MORON. RETARDED BABBOONS MOCK YOU BECAUSE *THEY* THINK YOU'RE STUPID. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU MANAGED TO MANEUVER THE CAR THIS FAR WITHOUT PLOWING HEADFIRST INTO AN ABUTMENT, BUT STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT. IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF F. LEE ERMEY, YOU HAD BEST UNFUCK YOURSELF OR I WILL UNSCREW YOUR HEAD AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK.
That is all.
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no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 01:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 05:08 pm (UTC)