When you say it's gonna happen now, well when exactly do you mean?

[cyrano]

Friday! Question day! No question too small, no answer too large!
Or something like that.
Three tables, no waiting, no payments until March, and *we* pay the sales tax!
Plus, if you act now, we'll throw in the Ronco stupid detector (a $50 value) absolutely free!
Why? Because we're insane!

Comments

[phillipalden.livejournal.com]

What is your last name?

[loupyone.livejournal.com]

If all the world were paper, and all the seas were ink, and all the trees were bread and cheese, what would we have to drink?

[tnalpgge.livejournal.com]

Cyrano, do you ever get that...not-so-fresh feeling?

[jakejr.livejournal.com]

Why the stupid detector instead of the turnip twaddler?

[motleypolitico.livejournal.com]

What is the air speed of an unladen swallow?

[tara-knight.livejournal.com]

What's your best email address to be reached on?

[hamgallon84.livejournal.com]

My friends had a very expensive videocamera and a very expensive digital camera stolen from their luggage at LAX, and now they're getting the runaround. Do you have any advice for them?

[yukonsally]

How do I get the annoying pregnant girl at work to STOP TALKING TO ME?

[reggie-coward.livejournal.com]

Is there a warranty on the Ronco stupid detector, and can it be traded in for a turnip twaddler?

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

My current name is Cyrano Jones, and if a ten ton truck hits me tomorrow it will become my last name. I've gone through Zingaro, Logan, Chaz, Ignacio, Al, and a handful of others because apparently I get bored with names quickly. Plus if I keep changing it then people have to work harder to use it to gain power over me.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Only if somebody forgets to seal my Zip-Loc(tm) closure after using me.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

I'd go with an ink smoothie.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

The turnip twaddler is a Popeil product, not Ronco.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

I am required by law at this point to ask 'African or European?'

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

At this point, I'd say cyranocoyote at yahoo dot com or cyranocyrano at gmail dot com are best.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

My advice is to stick with the airline, because TSA (being a semi-governmental agency) can blow you off and claim that they're completely not responsible. They should ask for escalation if they get 'I can't help you with that' or 'I'm not authorized' or something.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

You could try slipping miscarriages and horrific birth defects into your conversations, if you're really serious.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

All sales are 'as is', Miss. Please direct all further correspondence to our 'we don't give a rat's ass' department.

[phillipalden.livejournal.com]

Nobody but an elf can really use your True Name against you, and sadly there aren't many elves around.

I guess I'm just from that generation where a person was proud of their given name because it was part of their heritage. That doesn't seem to be the case anymore.

As I get older it seems the world shares less and less of my values. I guess that's part of getting older but it really sucks.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't really feel like my name connects me to my heritage. Of course, my heritage (the one I claim) only goes back about fifty or sixty years. I'm named for an uncle who had passed on before I was born and whose family (a wife, with a daughter who died very young) I never met. My ancestry comes mostly from various and sundry parts of Europe, a hundred and some years ago. My heritage, to any recognizable extent, I have created myself or taken from my parents.

[hamgallon84.livejournal.com]

You once told me that Cyrano isn't your *real* name, and then proceeded to tell me what it actually is. Did you lie to me?

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Cyrano is not my legal name. Although some day it may be. Whether I lied to you or not depends on what I told you *was* my legal name. (:
However, I cannot see a situation where I lied to you, nor any motivation to do so.

[hamgallon84.livejournal.com]

Your real name is cute! You should just use that.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Awww. (:
Thank you.

[jakejr.livejournal.com]

Are you sure? I could've sworn Opus ordered it from Ronco. ;)

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

I'm positive--after the big market shake up, Ronco was forced to sell off several properties, and Popeil was well positioned to snap up the more profitable lines for pennies on the dollar.

[jakejr.livejournal.com]

I see...

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

In better news, I just got an idea for the Smiths album art that I like and I've already culled two songs from the bloated Cure album.

[jakejr.livejournal.com]

Shiny!