Wham, Bam, thank you, ma'am.

[cyrano]

I was out today and decided to take in a movie. I passed on Forbidden Kingdom because I was alone, and want to enjoy that one with a friend, and was going to grab a ticket to Leatherheads because George Clooney is such a charming fellow. Then I saw a film called '88' which was going to start twenty minutes earlier, which was a big plus, as was Al Pacino.
I saw the new Batman trailer and the new Ironman trailer, both of which pleased me, and the new Samuel Jackson trailer which might be worth watching. And some sort of zombie horror flick called Quarantine which I will happily pass on.
And now on to the movie. There are spoilers here, but I'm not putting up an lj-cut because I'm hoping that the spoilers will give you even less reason to see this abomination. Within five minutes I was already subtitling this movie "Al Pacino and a bunch of half naked girls solve a murder".
Every single woman in this film was either

• There to be tortured by a man
  
• There to be killed by a man
  
• There to be kidnapped and then saved by two different men
  
• There to be patronized by a man ("There there, you did good." And then, swear to god, he pats her head.)
  
• There to be protected from danger by a man
  
• There to undress in front of the camera
  
• There to have the hots for Al Pacino
  
• There to make cookies for Al Pacino and probably have the hots for him unrequitedly
  
• There to be brainwashed by a man into torturing and killing for him
  
• A psychopathic killer lesbian who was in love with a man
  

Just.....
Wow.
Coyote has no wags for this one. He really wishes he'd seen Leatherheads, but he's feeling less homicidal now.

Comments

[kezbat.livejournal.com]

...wow is right. And yet, I'd wager people will go to see this in droves and annoy me about how brilliant it is.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to remove all thoughts from my brain, because thinking just isn't attractive, is it? ~skips off~

[miss-friday.livejournal.com]

I doubt anyone will say it's brilliant, reviewers are calling it idiotic. Completely devoid of writing, directing and acting.

[kezbat.livejournal.com]

I've no doubt that reviewers will hate it. But, well, you don't work with the people I work with. ;)

"It was great hur hur gurlz" would be a sample reaction. ~sigh~

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

And I must admit that the female actors they were using as props and plot devices were not hard to look upon. Except when I was wincing in pain and turning away in disbelief.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid I didn't get that deep into the film. I'm not entirely certain why I stayed, except that (A) there was a possibility that in the end the Pacino character would get screwed up the ass for being a patronizing fuck and (B) they kind of amped up the dickery in the last fifteen minutes.

*sigh* This is what I get for going to the cinema without doing my research.