Adult content and pondering

[cyrano]

So there's this commercial. And it bugs me a little. It's that MacDonalds "We sell coffee" commercial where the guy wanders through his day blearily mumbling "Don't talk to me. I haven't had my coffee yet." And everybody backs away in quiet reverence. "Oh man, yeah, no coffee. We'll just wait until later." And I have this thing about the exalted status of coffee in our society, probably because it tastes like hot mud and smells like something got left on the stove too long. So I wondered. What if it weren't the holy Coffee that he needed in order to function, and instead he threw up his hand and dismissed people saying "Don't talk to me. I haven't had a blow job yet."

Comments

[wilson-lizard.livejournal.com]

Give it 20 years..

[radioactiverich.livejournal.com]

So, did anyone give him a coffee?

[cerulean-me.livejournal.com]

I bothers me for similar reasons... for me, being in constant pain and all, can't function until I have my morning NSAID and opiate... but I'm and addict, and this bad? At least I'm not grmpy, merely weepy until I get my fix.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

And for only a dollar! Gourmet coffee! Such a deal!

[schquee.livejournal.com]

My coffee and chicory + lots of sugar and cream does not taste like mud! And I drink it as much for the sugar as for the caffeine. But I agree, the commercial is stupid. It is making light of a pretty harmless addiction, though. I don't think the blowjob analogy works, maybe a heroin analogy.

[roseneko.livejournal.com]

Coffee occupies such an exalted position in our society because it's the nectar of the gods. (Also, because the majority of the populace is addicted to it. Funny how those two are often interchangeable.)

Did I ever tell you my theory as to why caffeine is so murderously addictive?

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

I do not believe you ever did, but given my half-productive attempts to get myself off the stuff, I believe it.

[roseneko.livejournal.com]

It just struck me while I was reading about its effects in some drug pamphlet or other. See, most drugs (especially opiates and their ilk) you build a tolerance to - the more you take them, the less overt effect they have. You start taking them to feel good, and keep taking them to avoid the crash.

Caffeine, however, doesn't have that tolerance-building effect to anywhere near the same degree. It's true you can build some tolerance to it over time, but you still get at least some of that extra burst of focus and energy after consuming it, even if you're a long-time user. Combined with the undesirable withdrawal symptoms and the fact that it's a fairly minor-league addiction with no real long-term problems, and most people just don't bother kicking it. :)

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

So it's a 'why bother' sort of addiction, then? (:
And yeah, both the diminishing returns and the crash are far more manageable. Plus, it's more legal than most opiates, which obviates a lot of risk and cost. It's so convenient!

[phillipalden.livejournal.com]

The McBlowJob. Sounds interesting.

[scarywhitegirl.livejournal.com]

Funny, when I tell people why I can't have caffeine, they seriously consider stopping. :)

(I have had kidney stones twice because of caffeine. Once was in grad school when I was subsisting on brownies and Cherry Coke, and ZOMG needed caffeine. The second was when I had (foolishly) started drinking Mountain Dew on a semi-regular basis. Apparently the whole caffeine causing kidney stones thing is only semi-freakish, as I had a friend who had the same problem, but his was far more extreme than mine. He could not have caffeinated soda at all.)

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Caffeine definitely doesn't have the 'normal' effects on me. It *may* be what caused my kidney stones, but I doubt it. However, I should probably avoid drinking it after, say, eleven in the morning, if I expect to sleep that night instead of being sluggish cranky and unfocused.

[scarywhitegirl.livejournal.com]

My understanding (really unscientific, mind you) is that there are two types of kidney stones. One kind is caused by caffeine, which extends to soda, coffee, tea, chocolate, and nuts (yes, some nuts have caffeine in them, in trace amounts). The other kind is caused by genetics.

Oddly enough, I'm genetically predisposed to kidney stones as well--my mom and her brothers have all had them. I don't know if that makes me more prone to the caffeine kind, but it's not something I want to risk. I still eat chocolate on occasion, and will eat peanut butter (which I reason is only BARELY nuts). Otherwise, I am SO done with caffeine. :)