Just so you don't think I've lost my bitter edge

[cyrano]

We were out driving earlier this week. One of the things I've noticed that's different here is the large collection of churches. And each one has a readerboard out front, most of them taking advantage of this literary real estate to post some ecumenical bon mot. (Can I use 'ecumenical' there? I'm not certain.)
One of them told me that "Angels are God's special helpers". And I was highly annoyed by this, but it took me quite some time to figure out why. "Special helper" is what you call your six year old child when se doesn't dump legos all over the floor while you're trying to vacuum, and picks up hir own dirty clothes. An angel, on the other hand, dispenses the justice of The Lord with a friggin' SWORD MADE OF FIRE. An angel trumpets the birth of the Messiah. An angel wrestles with a prophet to bring him to task. An angel is a being of righteous power--or in Lucifer's case, less on the righteous and more on the power. If your religion is serious to you, don't try to make it cute.
Okay. That's done. Back to fluffy bunnies and happy thoughts.

Comments

[tara-knight.livejournal.com]

>laughing so hard that I am almost coughing<

Yes!

[roseneko.livejournal.com]

All quite true. Remember how in the Bible (you know, that book these people supposedly revere as the Holy Word of God), whenever an angel appears to a mortal, the first thing they say is "Fear not"? This isn't some cute catchphrase, it's because (to a mortal) angels are supposed to be TERRIFYING.

I blame the nineties. For some reason, angels were a big fad then, people were putting them in sports (see: Angels in the Outfield) to love stories to those little Guardian Angel pins that every corner schlock shop sold. Something that ubiquitous can't be scary, right?

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

And the damned Victorians. Can you imagine how pissed of the Cherubim must have been when they saw those statues of chubby little babies?

[windrose.livejournal.com]

It's the modern equivalent of the Victorians taking the alien and dangerous Fey Folk of legend and turning them into cutesy little flower fairies.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Pretty much, yeah. But at least they didn't still worship those legends.

[tymen.livejournal.com]

Did you ever notice how in the Bible, when ever God needed to punish someone, or make an example, or whenever God needed a killing, he sent an angel? Did you ever wonder what a creature like that must be like? A whole existence spent praising your God, but always with one wing dipped in blood. Would you ever really want to see an angel?

Thomas Daggett, The Prophecy

I always loved this line from the movie. It sums up Angels very well I think.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Have you read Murder Mysteries? I thought that was an awesome story, although Prophecy is pretty high up there for me too.

[tymen.livejournal.com]

I have. I even own the Hardcover Graphic Novel adaption of it. Love the story.

[mnarra.livejournal.com]

What you say has merit, but that doesn't make the "special helpers" designation wrong.

It just casts God's daily routine into a new and frightening light, by implication, if the "wing dipped in blood" sort of task is how he keeps those playful angels out of his hair. What sort of things does God spend his time on, if inconsequential business like raining fire on the unrighteous is how he sends the angels out to play? And what sort of sensibilities does He have?

*shudders and tries to take up atheism in self defense*

*fails*

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

You're a sick man. No wonder you're on my friends list.

[mnarra.livejournal.com]

Hey, I just analyze the data. Not my fault what conclusions are supported.

[mister-sunshine.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's because they have special needs.

[katchoo-too.livejournal.com]

Maybe they have just added a new rank of angels...
Seraphim - guard the throne of God
Cherabim - guard things like the tree of life
Archangels - scary messengers/justice bringers
Angels - messengers
Brownie Angels - God's special helpers???

[miss-friday.livejournal.com]

Problem is that Hellfire and Damnation doesn't sell to the middle class masses. Fluffy bunnies and smiling babies do.

If you can't scare the masses shitless, then you can placate them into submission.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I suppose that if the theology isn't really that important to you as a church leader, you should go for making folks comfortable.
Comfortable folks tend to make bigger tithes.