A highly agreeable life in my perfectly beautiful room

[cyrano]

So I took a quick day-trip to Portland yesterday (I'd have called if I had more time, Luana) and I am once again going through the thoughts that I think whenever I visit there or Seattle, the past three years.
Why haven't I moved there yet?
I keep refusing to admit that I'm not making enough money to survive here. For what I pay for my half of the rent now, I could probably get a three-bedroom apartment in Beaverton or Vancouver, and Jess finds it highly likely that she and I can track down a job that pays almost as much as if not more than what I'm making now.
I cannot craft words that express how much I really don't want to leave people I've spent five years getting to know and building a life with. The second big tie holding me here was concern about my housemate being left without somebody to help cover financially. (As much as I help cover.) And tonight she said she thought I should look into the idea. The third tie was removed about a year ago, and so mostly what I find barring the way is not things that keep me here but things that keep me from there.
If a position opens that I'm at least somewhat qualified for at SkyWest Portland I can ask for a transfer. There are apparently phone support positions with tech companies in Portland. Hell, I could probably work for Tower again if Sean is still working the Classical room in Mountain View and can give me a recommendation, but a job with medical insurance is pretty important to me. Given time, I could probably procure work before I got there.
Where do I come up with the money required to move me out of California and into a new place up north? How much of my collected crap can I/will I get rid of to save trying to ship it? Should I try to trade in the car here for one there? How can I move anywhere if even thinking about it drives me into a panic attack and I end up in the corner of the room crying?
Okay, so I can't talk about this any more for now. I'm sure there will be more news later.

Comments

Elaboration from the housemate

[tersa.livejournal.com]

Although I would miss you, and there is my own financial situation to consider, I know how miserable you are with your own financial situation, and that concern is what had me advocating for you to actively look into moving. I strongly suspect it *would* improve if you move. And your financial situation is far more dire than mine, so it's time to put Chuck first in priority. And if you're still working at SkyWest (we can hope, neh?) you can always fly back down here for cheap.

I do not think you should sell the Del Sol and buy a different car up there.

Let's worry about moving expenses when the time comes. Like many things in life, I believe they will work out. Concentrate on finding a job, *then* worry about moving expenses. 'Kay?

*hug*