A highly agreeable life in my perfectly beautiful room

[cyrano]

So I took a quick day-trip to Portland yesterday (I'd have called if I had more time, Luana) and I am once again going through the thoughts that I think whenever I visit there or Seattle, the past three years.
Why haven't I moved there yet?
I keep refusing to admit that I'm not making enough money to survive here. For what I pay for my half of the rent now, I could probably get a three-bedroom apartment in Beaverton or Vancouver, and Jess finds it highly likely that she and I can track down a job that pays almost as much as if not more than what I'm making now.
I cannot craft words that express how much I really don't want to leave people I've spent five years getting to know and building a life with. The second big tie holding me here was concern about my housemate being left without somebody to help cover financially. (As much as I help cover.) And tonight she said she thought I should look into the idea. The third tie was removed about a year ago, and so mostly what I find barring the way is not things that keep me here but things that keep me from there.
If a position opens that I'm at least somewhat qualified for at SkyWest Portland I can ask for a transfer. There are apparently phone support positions with tech companies in Portland. Hell, I could probably work for Tower again if Sean is still working the Classical room in Mountain View and can give me a recommendation, but a job with medical insurance is pretty important to me. Given time, I could probably procure work before I got there.
Where do I come up with the money required to move me out of California and into a new place up north? How much of my collected crap can I/will I get rid of to save trying to ship it? Should I try to trade in the car here for one there? How can I move anywhere if even thinking about it drives me into a panic attack and I end up in the corner of the room crying?
Okay, so I can't talk about this any more for now. I'm sure there will be more news later.

Comments

[kirbyk.livejournal.com]

You can get quotes on rental trucks from U-Haul online - they're pretty spendy.

On the other hand, each month you stay, you're paying more California Rent. Having been in a similar situation, I'm pretty sure it's not financially good to stay there. All things considered, you make up the moving costs in rent decrease in 2-3 months. (Though, getting the initial outlay of cash might be tricky.)

The economy isn't roses and dancing monkeys in the Northwest either, but when you can get a $500/month apartment, life at Kinkos isn't nearly as depressing.

Life isn't easy anywhere, but it's always going to be harder to make ends meet in the Bay than almost anywhere else. You've got several places to choose from where you've got good friends. Your roommate will be fine - she's smart and popular. Don't panic!

Maybe you should trade your car for a pickup that's got enough life to get over the mountains, and put all your stuff in it, and just go North?

I do miss the Bay Area sometimes, and particularly the people in it, but I don't miss the insane cost of living. All things considered, I'm doing better up here.

But my real advice is, make a decision you can live with, and then live with it, don't live in panic and indecision longer than necessary.

[ambar.livejournal.com]

Maybe you should trade your car for a pickup that's got enough life to get over the mountains, and put all your stuff in it, and just go North?

Maybe Ambar would loan you her pickup/horse trailer and driving services if you figured on covering the gas money both ways? (For planning purposes, the rig gets ~600 highway miles per 33 gallons of diesel, sans trailer.)

Elaboration from the housemate

[tersa.livejournal.com]

Although I would miss you, and there is my own financial situation to consider, I know how miserable you are with your own financial situation, and that concern is what had me advocating for you to actively look into moving. I strongly suspect it *would* improve if you move. And your financial situation is far more dire than mine, so it's time to put Chuck first in priority. And if you're still working at SkyWest (we can hope, neh?) you can always fly back down here for cheap.

I do not think you should sell the Del Sol and buy a different car up there.

Let's worry about moving expenses when the time comes. Like many things in life, I believe they will work out. Concentrate on finding a job, *then* worry about moving expenses. 'Kay?

*hug*

Garage sale?

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

And the Aelf and I have been discussing a garage sale in our big, spacious, driveway and suburban neighborhood setting for quite a while now. It'd be an easy way to unload some stuff you don't want to have to lug elsewhere with you. And you could raise a little extra cash to boot!

Not that I won't be sad if you move up north, I'll be very sad indeed, but we've been talking about what you need to be happy recently, right? All those things you've mentioned you haven't been able to find around here, and it sounds like you might be able to there. Ultimately seeing you happy is the important thing, and being financially sound would be a first good step.

Whatever your decision I support you fully, dear, and any help I can offer is yours for the asking, ok?

[aelfsciene.livejournal.com]

You'd definitely be missed. But I think everyone who will miss you would be utterly delighted to see you happier with your lot in life, financial situation, everything. So, best of luck, whatever you decide, and let us know how we can help!

[jakejr.livejournal.com]

I would also miss you, but I am semi-frequently in Portland and would therefore insist on seeing you while there. I had mixed feelings about leaving the people I'd grown to care for in Colorado, but ultimately I just had to live someplace where I "fit" better. Do what's best for you, hon, whatever that turns out to be.

I Gotta Get Out of This Place

[miss-friday.livejournal.com]

How can I move anywhere if even thinking about it drives me into a panic attack and I end up in the corner of the room crying?

Then maybe this is not the time to go yet. Moving is a major logistical nightmare that needs a lot of careful work. If you can answer all the questions you've written, have a concrete plan of action, either savings or a job waiting at your destination, and an attitude of "get me the f*** outta here" then you will be ready. And by all means GO!

It's your decision, and ultimately you need to decide what is important to/for you. Your friends will still love and support you no matter what, but in the end this is about you

[tamago.livejournal.com]

I can't say that moving to a location with an easier cost-of-living hasn't crossed my mind, too. Chris and I have actually talked about what it would take to move us to Portland, which I think is a nifty keen city and would be a lovely place to live. Our objection is similar to one of yours. We'd miss people too much. It's hard, when one has put down roots with lovely friends to contemplate abandoning them and having to start over with new people.

However, if you did move to Portland, you'd get the chance to see me and Chris at least once a year, if that's any incentive. ;-)

But let me add my encouragement to those I've already seen here. Do what is best for *you*, and let things work themselves out in their own time. And don't be afraid to ask for help. I may not have money lying around, but I do have time, if you ever need an afternoon of moral support or maybe just someone to cook you a meal and listen to steam blowing off, I'm around. Don't be shy about emailing me or calling.

[juliansinger.livejournal.com]

How can I move anywhere if even thinking about it drives me into a panic attack and I end up in the corner of the room crying?

In small bits.

Or, rather, you think about it in small bits. Take them one at a time. Slowly.

And, hugs. I miss you anyway, whether you're in San Jose or Portland, so hey! I don't really care /where/ you move.

[spenceraloysius.livejournal.com]

From someone who lives in a city where she has no friends, it is very hard. But, you would know people in Seattle! A city with no friends and just an SO is still very lonely.

[wilson-lizard.livejournal.com]

Well you know I like that idea. :) Let me know if I can help.