Coyote Cinema: Three Musketeers

[cyrano]

No coherent review here. My big problem is that this movie is sort of the reverse of Real Steel--you start with a great story and then suck all the heart out of it. And all you need to make a Three Musketeers movie is a little heart. Orlando Bloom with facial hair looks like **Matt Nathanson** y'all. Srs. It's nice to give de Winter an active role and all, but... remember when Milla Jovovich was a model with a funny accent who couldn't act? She doesn't have an accent any more. There were a few "Oh hey that's kind of interesting" or "Yay they kept that bit" and then there was a whole lot of "WTF? WTFF?" and "Wait, really?" But hey, it had dirigibles, so it's SteamPunk. And the kids love them some SteamPunk, yeah?

In the end, the best part of this was Planchet. Two wags.

Comments

[marialuminous.livejournal.com]

I just got back from seeing it too. And I was surrounded on all sides by a bunch of feminist sociologists. We had some fantastic conversations about it afterward. I rather liked it for the costumes and the eye candy, but if I had tried to follow the plot or make sense of anything, no, I wouldn't have liked it. (After the dirigibles got impaled upon the steeple, how on earth was it even possible for them to fly it after that?)

But every single person was so damn hot that I decided to not care about the unbelievable plot. It's like porn: you don't always watching it for the stellar plot line. And given the way I feel about clothing, this might well have been somewhat like my version of porn.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

I am very pleased that you enjoyed it. (: And I do wish that I'd been able to listen in on those conversations.
(I imagine they fired up the balloon with enough hot air that it could lift off the steeple and limp over to the Louvre, where dirigibles go to die. Perhaps the British vessel's balloon didn't get pierced.)
And watch how, as a gentleman, I make no improper public speculations about you and porn.

[marialuminous.livejournal.com]

Also, how did they suddenly mass-produce these flying ships? Even if every person in the country was making dirigibles around the clock, it still should have taken longer than that to get a full fleet of them.

And thank you. As always, you are the perfect gentleman.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Buckingham had those plans for... three years, I think. I figure if the Cardinal can whip up a 'new improved' version that quickly, then despite its lack of an actual armed force England could have been making more airships for years.

Dude. I'm *justifying* the crazy of this film. wtf?