With a heart full of hate and a lust for vomit

[cyrano]

There's nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

For a long time, I have been thinking. There's a theory that the world gives you what you expect.
If you expect people to be stupid and mean and selfish then they will be glad to oblige you in that and you will live in a dark and cynical world.
If you expect people to be generous, thoughtful, kind and loving, they will again rise to meet your expectations. And you will live in a world full of sunshine and fluffy puppies.
You'll never guess which world I live in.
But I've met people who seem to be living in that other world. People who seem to go through life with an upturned face and a smile, who are graced with good fortune and do indeed turn lemons into lemonade.
And I sometimes wonder what would happen if I could trust the world not to kick me in the teeth long enough to drop my arms and find out what it was like in that other world. But it's pretty scary to try. Especially when I consider that it may not be the Point of View that determines the world--the cause may be the environment, and the effect may be the mood. People may be optimistic and friendly because they live in a world that makes them comfortable, and trying to live in it will just get me knocked around by the one I live in.
I make an effort to play the PollyAnna, to see the silver lining in the cloud in Bhopal; I try to make an effort to keep the good things in my life in the forefront of my considerations, and to keep my perspective from becoming too dimmed by a fascination with the venal and destructive in the world. But if I really want to change the world I live in, it's only a half-assed ring toss. If I think that change is possible, and that I could survive the transition, I'd have to try a lot harder and do a lot scarier things.
If you live in that world, don't get the Welcome Wagon ready just yet. It may be a little while before the new neighbor moves in.

Comments

[cerulean-me.livejournal.com]

I've given this theory a great deal of thought over the last 10 years or so.

I cannot believe that when you expect your world to be filled with sunshine and roses that it just turns out that way. Because more often then not, I do expect blue skies and green grass, and that's just not the easy world that I live in.

The Polyannas of the world take their brier patches and FIND sunshine and roses, then cultivate it. Whether or not they end up with green grass and and blue skies, or not.

Then there are people that have been given a sweet life, filled with sunshine and roses. Though, they focus on the thorns, the dirt, and the occasional clouds that float by.

It's all in how you look at it. I try to keep a running list of the good things that I have going for me. Sure, my internet access was cut off today, and tomorrow I may lose my cell phone. I'm not sure where my next tank of gas is coming from, and payday is a week off. That said, I am resourceful, and have neighbors with an open wi-fi net work. I have family that will put my husband to work and pay him. I have food in the house, and food stamps left. I have a job that will eventually pay me. I have a home, friends and a family. You regularly put a smile on my face too. Life isn't so bad ;-)

[miss-friday.livejournal.com]

Do you think there are just two theories? The one I subscribe to, which replaced Dark/Cynical about 5 years ago is Balance.

Yes there are good things, but for everyone of those that enters my life something ugly comes along fairly quickly.

I try to linger over the good and hurry through the bad. But there is always both, and each has something to teach. Even when I'm not in the mood for learning or just plain don't notice.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Do you think there are just two theories?

Far from it. This is a single theory that I have heard, and occasionally lend some credence to, because it certainly seems to hold true for my side of the equation--people continue to behave much as I expect them to.

[gconnor.livejournal.com]

I actually made the switch from a somewhat-dark world to a brighter one, at one point in my life. I was, during high school, painfully shy. When I went into the working world, I decided a context change was in order. So, I imagined what life would be life if I were more outgoing and sociable. I imagined it in great detail, and started behaving as though I really was that guy.

Strangely enough, it actually worked. People actually believed that I was that outgoing, social person. At first it felt like wearing a costume, and tricking people into thinking I'm someone I'm not. But after a while, I actually became that person. The skills I pretended to have, I actually learned. It didn't really change who I was; I just had another tool at my disposal.

Roleplaying can be therapeutic. If you can imagine where you want to go in enough detail, and you can see the road from here to there in enough detail, you CAN get there. Use your creative imagination. Take small steps. You will travel through a few different worlds, but you will get to the one you want to be in. Imagine the world you want to be in, and make it tailored to you. Imagine it in detail, and then you will see the signs in real life that point the way to the gate.

[cammers.livejournal.com]

It is some comfort to read a thought that you seem to have plucked right from my brain. You know what they say misery loves...

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

[ZACK] ..... Company! Company! Misery loves.... um. [/ZACK]
*hugs* Soldier on, man. We can only assume it gets better on the other side.

[cammers.livejournal.com]

OMG I WATCHED THAT EPISODE JUST TODAY!

And then later in the 'cheers' episode where JD goes home and watches Cheers DVD to cheer himself up after the writer dies, as he hoisted a beer to a bunch of guys hoisting beers in a bar, I was struck by the fact that I too was hoisting a drink on my couch to my comfort-food sitcom that I'd just been watching for the last five hours.

Eeeerie.

[wilson-lizard.livejournal.com]

*hugs* What I would have said, has already been covered. :)