How I spent my weekend, by Cyrano Jones

[cyrano]

Okay. Three times I've tried to build an LJ poll, and three times I've made some critical error that erased all my work because I was too quick on the key and didn't make a back up of my work. So. Instead of a poll, you can respond by hitting the reply button.
This whole fiasco was inspired by the lovely 9thMoon's occasional lyrical quizzes. So I culled some eighty (yes eighty) lyric snippets from previous LJ journal entry titles of mine. Some of them are gimmies, some of them I had to look up to remind myself of the source.
I could tell you not to cheat by using a search engine or by looking at others' answers or by plying the quizmaster with chocolate and pettings, but if that's the sort of person you are then embrace it and get on with your life.
Any songs with similar or identical lyrics are incorrect and have been disqualified for failing to pass drug tests for anabolic steroids.

---

It gets hold of my tongue in situations like these.

There's nothing funny about Herman.

You see me--You hear me

The vegetable must be destroyed.

When I'm God everyone dies.

His hair was perfect.

Nobody likes their job, and nobody got enough sleep.

Get everybody and the stuff together.

She carries on without a doubt

Bangin' on the bongos like a chimpanzee

We are the taint in the blood.

Put the load right on me.

Like winter in July

I'd blame it all on California's fault.

She's a lot like you

Just forget the words and sing along.

Turned on some music to start my day.

Don't call me Chris--my name is Elvis.

I gave Nero his very first fiddle.

My whole existence is flawed.

Pretending that you're Al Green

Watch this space; I'm open to falling from grace.

I draw a jackal headed woman in the sand.

I could be wrong, but I'm not.

On the bus today I met the queen of LA.

Why don't you get things started?

Found it hard, so hard to find.Oh well, whatever. Never mind.

And while you're at it, learn the words to 'Danke Schoen'.

And the rocks below say 'Throw your skinny body down, son'.

Fingernails that shine like justice.

A fork stuck in the road

Safe sex doesn't mean no sex, it just means use your imagination.

Be my little human sacrifice.

Or whoever wants to stand next to me.

The pirate gets the ship and the girl tonight

Have to stay awake and think of you.

I don't understand how the heart is a spade

When I catch my breath, it's you I breathe

Tell me what you eat, I might cook for you.

And he shows them, pearly white.

Fifty thou a year will buy a lot of beer.

I'll face it with a grin; I'm never giving in.

Mama I'm depending on you to tell me the truth.

I am the shadow on the moon at night.

You don't need pants for the victory dance.

Birds, snakes and aeroplanes. And Lenny Bruce

If the end is right, it justifies the beans.

I don't *feel* tardy.

But I can't say that. Cuz he found an aardvark.

I know. I'll count those bars on the window.

It's all tax deductible; we're fairly incorruptible.

Says I'm a car crash, so tell me baby does it show

How can you say I go about things the wrong way?

All I wanted was a Pepsi. Just one Pepsi.

Ain't it great when things are goin' your way?

Last night there were skinheads on my lawn.

My mind is clearer now. At last, all too well, I can see...

I don't know why I do, but I dream of you.

And then no need to endure any more

Killed the Tsar and his ministers

This is neither law, religion, philosophy or fashion.

Midas in my touch, Delilah in my hair. (used this one three times)

Shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. (this one too)

I don't sleep so I don't dream so I don't wake up frightened.

Two for my headache.

Gonna shoot the whole day down.

I look pretty young but I'm just backdated

Where's my umbrella?

I'm just trying to put the atom back together

Hey, why not ask for more?

Sun in winter time

And if the elevator tries to bring you down

Simple as a flower, and that's a complicated thing.

Comments

Hey, I recognize a few!

[tersa.livejournal.com]

She's a lot like you - "Dangerous Type", Letters from Cleo (in the remake I'm familiar with)

Fingernails that shine like justice. - "Short skirt/Long jacket", Cake

A fork stuck in the road - "Good Riddance", Green Day

If the end is right, it justifies the beans. - from Into the Woods

Killed the Tsar and his minister - "Sympathy for the Devil", The Rolling Stones

Two for my headache. - "Blister in the Sun", Violent Femmes (?)

[l2g.livejournal.com]

All of this without cheating and without looking at Tersa's answers (since hers are the only ones I see posted at the moment)...

"It gets hold of my tongue in situations like these" -- Depeche Mode, "Shake the Disease"

"His hair was perfect" -- [Urrrgh, that one guy], "American Werewolf in London"

"Bangin' on the bongos like a chimpanzee" -- Dire Straits, "Money for Nothing"

"My whole existence is flawed" -- Nine Inch Nails, "Closer"

"Watch this space; I'm open to falling from grace" -- Sneaker Pimps, "6 Underground"

"Found it hard, so hard to find. Oh well, whatever. Never mind" -- Nirvana, "Smells Like Teen Spirit"

"I don't feel tardy" -- Van Halen, "Hot for Teacher" (or is it the one by Lee Press-On and the Nails?) ;-)

"All I wanted was a Pepsi. Just one Pepsi" -- [Arrrrrgh! Can't remember the band!!!], "Institutionalized"

"Ain't it great when things are goin' your way?" -- Beat Farmers, "Happy Boy"

"This is neither law, religion, philosophy or fashion" -- Consolidated, "Consolidated"

"Two for my headache" -- Violent Femmes, "Kiss Off"

Can I take half-credit if I remember only the song name? :-)

[jakejr.livejournal.com]

ones that nobody's done yet (I knew several of those)

Nobody likes their job, and nobody got enough sleep.

--that's Ani, but I don't recall which song.

Fifty thou a year will buy a lot of beer.

--Timbuk 3 "The Future's So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades"

Birds, snakes and aeroplanes. And Lenny Bruce

--REM, "It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)"

Shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

--that'd be Johnny Cash, but the title escapes me at the moment

And so many more that I just can't quite name at the moment, but I know I know.

Also, because I must...

"I took one, one, one 'cause you left me
and two, two, two for my family and
three, three, three for my heartache and
four, four, four for my headache and
five, five, five for my lonely and
six, six, six for my sorrow and
seven, seven for n-n-no tomorrow and
eight, eight, I forget what eight was for but
nine, nine, nine for a lost god and
ten, ten, ten, ten for everything everything everything everything."

So, if it's Violent Femmes "Kiss Off" that you were going for in the first place, you were a number off in your quote. (And yes, I do know that by heart. I've seen them live a time or six or so.)

[jakejr.livejournal.com]

And crap, succumbing to temptation I looked up a couple of the more annoyingly familiar ones, and now I feel like an utter moron. Especially about the Melissa Etheridge lyric. Ah, well, it's Monday. Perhaps I should shoot the whole day down? :-)

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

And now I can't remember if I fucked up or intentionally misquoted due to the subject matter of the posting.
(Oh, and 'Pixie' and 'Folsom Prison Blues' are the two song titles.)

Re:

[jakejr.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'll have to look later and see if I pick up any more of them, now that it's later in the week. :)

[jakejr.livejournal.com]

So, are you going to give us the answers? :)

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

In fact, I'd planned on posting answers a week after the quiz, to give those slackers who take a long time to read LJ to catch up.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

(And if you can't wait, AltaVista or Google will give you almost all of them.)

[wilson-lizard.livejournal.com]

Good golly.. it was too boggling.. my brain froze up. :)