What's so funny 'bout

[cyrano]

Oh yeah. Friday. Okay, hit me--it's ask me a question day, and I promise to provide 100% fact-free responses, or your money back!

Comments

[aberrantvirtue.livejournal.com]

Why are there no baby pigeons?

Also, who ate my oreos?

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

There are no baby pigeons for the same reason there are no baby eels--they are generated spontaneously by trash left on city streets. It is much the same mechanism by which meat will spontaneously generate maggots.

And... I... don't know anything about those Oreos. PS: We're out of milk.

[aberrantvirtue.livejournal.com]

How shall I entertain you darling?

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Well, my first choice is made more difficult by distance. But I find your words always entertaining, if not thought provoking. Or if you have images to share, or perhaps somebody else's words...

[aberrantvirtue.livejournal.com]

Can you read LJ? If I were to post, would you be able to see it?

If so, you shall have your entertainment soon... *smile*

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

If I can't read LJ then I'm doing an excellent job of faking it. (:
mmmm. Entertainment.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Bah. I may just have to read it from home. Which could be potentially more entertaining.

[aberrantvirtue.livejournal.com]

I got...er...busy.

Am working on it now, but you'll probably be home by the time I'm done.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

And I will enjoy it just as much, if not more, there. (:
Don't rush on my account--I like it slow and deliberate.

[mnarra.livejournal.com]

Why is a duck?

Why did Kurt & Ian split up?

Why do I only hate myself when I am tired?

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Ah, grasshopper, the correct question is "What is the *difference* between a duck?"

Kurt and Ian didn't split up--Kurt shot himself because he was afraid of becoming what he despised, and Ian hung himself for reasons which continue to puzzle us.

You only hate yourself when you're tired because when you're tired your brain doesn't work right and you become stupid. Because hating somebody as cool as you is pretty stupid.

See you in a month!

[hamgallon84.livejournal.com]

Why was my first Friday of being laid off so boring, even though I didn't usually work on Fridays and would have been at home sitting on my ass regardless?

Oh, and why am I sexually attracted to David Letterman?

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Today was boring because you've got nothing to spend your weekend away from, and so there's nothing to contrast it against. Plus, you don't need the day off to run errands or cram social events into and so it just seems a continuation of the day before.

And the Letterman thing is because, in his dry wittiness, he reminds you of me, and you want me bad.

[hamgallon84.livejournal.com]

lol

Somewhere in the universe it's Friday

[miss-friday.livejournal.com]

Prime example of thinking of an EXCELLENT question at the wrong moment.

Why do people constantly ask you questions about themselves rather than questions about you?

Re: Somewhere in the universe it's Friday

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Because they find themselves a far more interesting topic of conversation, I expect. And I cannot blame them.